यह बारकोड, कोड‍ १२८ में है, और अँग्रेज़ी मे् है। काफी कोशिश की, कि हिन्दी में बनाया जाये, किन्तु कोई भी औनलाईन वेबसाईट सॉफ्टवेयर, यूनीकोड को स्वीकार करने के लिये तैयार नहीं था।

बारकोड के आविष्कारक नौरमन वुडलैंड व बर्नार्ड सिल्वर ने अक्तूबर १९४९ में पहली बार बारकोड के एकस्व के लिए आवेदन किया, जो कि अक्तूबर ७, १९५२ में स्वीकार हुआ।

बारकोड एक प्रक्रिया या जिससे उपभोक्ता वस्तुओं की गुणवत्ता व उसके मूल्य, डिब्बाबन्दी की तिथी व अन्य जानकारी को मशिन द्वारा पढ़ा जा सकता है।

PUNCTUALITY REDEFINED

This picture was taken a year ago. The office (Oriental Insurance is just opposite Scandal Point, The Mall, Shimla).

The babus here, seem to be quite punctual and they’ll close shop exactly at 5:00 PM and other days exactly five minutes late. Has anybody tried their timings?

वो लिखते हैं: “सर्दियाँ आख़िर आ ही गयीं। इस समय रात का एक बजा है और कडाके की ठण्ड पड़ रही है। इस ठण्ड में आख़िर नींद कहाँ आने वाली है। सोचा क्यों न कुछ लिखा जाए। सर्दियाँ आते ही मुझे अपने गाँव कोटगढ़ की याद आती है। बचपन में स्कूल की छुट्टियां सर्दियों में ही होती थी। तो बस स्कूल ख़तम हुए नहीं के हम सभी बच्चे कोटगढ़ का रुख कर लेते थे।…”

आप भी पढ़िये और मज़ा लीजिये… सर्दियों ओर लोहड़ी की कुछ बातें

And what to say of Sushma Reddy. Awesome. Gorgeous!!!!!!

I had hired a taxi from Shimla – a Tata Sumo – for myself and my parents and the lots of luggage to dump us in our village in Jubbal. Having plans to venture into the tourism industry, when the means allow me, I thought of engaging the taxi-driver into a conversation, and know the secrets of the trade.

A local of Kotkhai, a well-educated – graduate – young boy and a bike-rallyist, he was more than willing to share anecdotes and some secrets. Let me call him by his surname only – Chauhan.

Well, Chauhan told me – first thing first – you earn by not running the taxi but through hefty commissions at hotels and various show-rooms across the state and particularly, Manali. No surprise here. He continued: Bhaiji! (Brother!) Punjabis and Gujaratis are the easiest to lure to buy things. The Bengalis, the Malbaris/Madrasis and the Purabias (Everyone from down South are Madrasis or Malbaris for us here and everyone from Bihar are Purabias) are the most difficult. While the former love to travel as a family, the latter in a group of multi-families.

So what’s the secret? He came to the point and asked me, “Bhaiji, have you heard of a Chingu?”

“What is it? An animal,” I asked? “Or a monument, or some place?” “Neither,” Chauhan flashed back with a smile. With a pause to create mystery, he said, “We are not supposed to leak out the secret. We take the groups (the travellers) to various show-rooms. We have a tie-up with them. Every sale of Rs 10,000 fetches us a commission of around Rs 3,000.”

I nodded in affirmation, as if I already knew that. There was a pause again.

I was being tempted to ask: So what’s a Chingu? But chose silence over curiosity. However, Chauhan chose to unravel the suspense himself.

“Bhaiji, one Chingu costs anything between Rs 10,000 and Rs 20,000.”

“Depending on quality?” I asked.

“Depending on the customer,” he said, adding, “You have to be seasoned to know from the mood, language, attire of the person, how much worth the person can shell out. If there are women in the group, or not. But Bhaiji, we don’t interfere in the sale. We neither urge the customer to buy, nor side with them. If anyone asks us, we say, ‘it’s good’.”

“What? Chingu?” I interfered again. My patience was running now.

“Yes, Chingu,” he said. “But what’s it?” I asked, as a matter of fact. But he wasn’t in no mood to let the secret out so early.

“They tell the customer that Chingu has no value for them today. Its value increases as it gets older and after ten years, if they come back and sell it to them, they’ll be happy to buy it back at five times the price today. The customer has to keep the receipt handy, as a proof that the Chingu was bought from them.”

“Yaar, ab bata bhee do (Friend, open up now). What’s a Chingu?” I asked.

“A shawl,” he said, with a smile.

“A shawl?”

“Yes, a shawl.”

“A woollen shawl?”

“Yes, a woollen shawl.”

“Is it some special shawl?”

“Hmmm… A special shawl to lure the customer, but otherwise a normal shawl.”

“Is the quality bad?”

“The quality is good though.”

“So, is it made of wool of some mountain animal?”

“Yes, for the tourist, but otherwise it’s normal, sheep wool.”

“But what’s so special about it?”

“It’s plain glib-talking, and marketing skill. They tell the tourists that the wool of Chingu is very special. It has no value for them today. As it gets older, the wool gets finer, and the value increases. It’s so special that it keeps a person warm during winters and cool during summers. If you wet the shawl with water in summers and wrap it around, it will keep you cool in summers,” he revealed.

The secret was out but there were some other questions left unanswered. “But, doesn’t it get ruined by pouring water over it?” I asked.

The answer was, “Bhaiji, you tell me, who will wrap a shawl in summers?”

“But what if the customer comes back?”

“Bhaiji, ten years…. Who has seen ten years? Who’s going to keep the receipt for ten years? Who’s going to come back to Manali just to complain that the shawl or the Chingu didn’t cool them in summers?

“Even if one comes, they would have an answer ready that the tourist must have not taken precaution and proper care. But we haven’t heard a case of anybody coming or complaining, as yet.”

“But, what if they ask you?” I asked.

“We just say that yes, it’s good. Actually, the wool is good, but the real value should not be more than Rs 2,000. The price depends on the design work and above all the tourist. Bargaining does work at times, to a discount of up to Rs 1,000. The shop keeper makes a profit five times even after handing over our commission,” Chauhan said.

“Hmmmm…,” I nodded my head in acknowledgement that Himachalis are not as simple as I thought.

Well, would I be able to apply same tricks if I were to venture out into tourism, I’m, honestly not sure. Though one does need to be a glib-talker to be a smart business-man but is it worth cheating and ruining the reputation of the state? But, may be, it’s everywhere.

So, did you buy a Chingu, when you were in Himachal?

Cross posted on: HimVani

However, Hmmmm, I bumped into Apna Bagdor once again. Taking Maasi’s ad-wise (which obviously is influenced by my Mom’s instructions), I surf for ads on Manojkumarmatripaise.com and look for Himachali Girls. Hmmm… I find Apna Bagdor there. I find it an opportunity to make it good with her and may be a file-tag… I click on Read More… It says – The Profile you are looking for does not exist…. May be Apna has deleted her profile. But there’s another option too – Express Interest. But I have to register for that and Log In. So I create my Profile, and go back to Apna’s Page, which again shows the same error. But I click on Express Interest. A message pops up: You can only express interest to an opposite sex. Now I remember why Apna Bagdor had said, “I’m a girl.” Anyways, I presume, honestly, this time, no puns, jokes apart, Apna had not put her sex as Male there, and as she’s deleted her profile, the manojkumarmatripaise.com’s server is playing truants, though her name is still there in the database.

Now I log on to khemsinghpartner.com (Khem Singh is our office runner – Jeevan’s saathi… OOps! Colleague). I take interest in a girl. Her father is an Exercise and Relaxation Instructor. She’s a paid member and contact details are revealed. So I call up my Mausaji and ask him, if he knows somebody in the Exercise and Relaxation Department. He says “yes”. I tell him the purpose, and ask him if he can find out more about this Instructor. He agrees. But as he could not trace his friend’s number, after three days, my Mausaji called up the Instructor himself. Mausaji reported back to me, that the Instructor had seen my Profile and that I had a daughter, which Mausaji negated. But I have a daughter. A 21-year-old daughter – Witness. Any way, after exchanging details, about where about and how about, the Instructor said that they’ll discuss at home and get back. Fine. Now at the end of the conversation, I ask, my Mausaji - What’s the Instructor’s name? He says, XYZ. Now I come to the main point. Did you ask him the girl’s name? Mausaji seemed a little scared to answer that. “Nahin.” What? – I shoot back. “Nahin, yes that’s her name,” he says. I burst out laughing. While taking a sip of juice that I was having, I got choked laughing. This name “Nahin is not going to leave me.

Finally, Mausaji too started laughing. He had a word – Theek hee to hai – People ask you – How’s Nahin? You always give some excuse or the other. If it works, you can always say… She’s Nahin. I don’t know, whom did you see earlier.

Nahhiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…..

Any ways, I enjoy these jokes, life is playing. Keep playing.

(Note: Some things have been filtered and adapted.)

9XM – Bheegi Billi, Main hoon Bheegi Billi. Well it’s not a promotion for 9XM or Bheegi Billi. Just what Apna made me feel… A Bheegi Billi. I’ll call her Apna. The association started with Apna, a few days ago, when a proposal came to us from Forge Foundry, to document Lok-yores on our site HisOrHerVoice. It was by chance that I saw a picture of Yachna on Chirkut and told her that she’d changed a lot. So I traced her number in my phone-book and called her up. It turned out to be the number of Yachna’s elder sister Apna. Well, I was put on to Yachna and from her came to know that Apna was doing Am-Fill in HimHer Lok-yores from Jay-Noo. I was excited. Apna could have been a great help in our project, so requested for a meeting.

But Apna was too BeeZee; you know. But Apna did take out time one day on her best friend’s birthday. So me and my daughter, who was a ‘Witness’ to the meeting went and met her in Sasta in Defensive Polony. The meeting went on fine. In fact, there were many things I learnt about Lok-yores. Thought that we could mutually learn from each other. And Yachna was a good friend, rather a family friend of Ma. So I called up Ma and asked her “Hey Ma, what do you think? Can we take help of Apna for our project? She said, “Sure.” Or did she mean “Suar”? So I’d gone ahead and met Apna.

Through out the meeting, Apna insisted on how there was no money in Lok-yores and how it could not be commercialised and how she did not have time to help us out. But she’ll try after July 1.

As we moved out of Sasta, my Witness daughter shook her head. I asked for the meaning later. She told me – Apna won’t help. Still my Journalistic mind was optimistic. Patience and persistence… I said.

After July 1, I called up Apna again. She was BeeZee again. So called up after a few days again. Meanwhile, the meeting had woken up in me the suppressed interest for Lok-yores. And Apna had suggested for interpretation rather than just documentation of Lok-yores. I took the suggestion seriously and took up books on Indian mythology, spirituality to interpret Lok-yores better.

I called up Apna again. Meanwhile, I decided to do my Pee-Etch-Dee in Lok-Yores in Journalism. I thought Apna could be of help. So called her up again. She did “not have time to die.” I requested her not to die as we need her for the project and my Pee-Etch-Dee.

She even told me that she was looking for a job as a Cheater. I have a friend who’s a Cheater in DU. So I told her, Mukhda Tata could be of Great help as she’s a Cheater in DU and references work. So Apna asked me. Who is Tata? “A Bong,” I replied. Tata’s aren’t HimHers? “No,” I said. But Apna said she had one neighbour in HimHer, who were Tatas and Tatas are HimHers. May be she thought Tata as in Priety Zinta, Narinder Bragta, and myself as ….Ta – all Tatas are HimHers. Was it so? Any way, then Apna asked me – How do I know Mukhda? I told her, she was Cheater of my Ex-Knife. And incidentally, Mukhda was also separated. (I was Die-Worse-eeeeeehh). What an irony? Apna had a suggestion – Why don’t I marry Mukhda? Oh! I forgot, meanwhile, there’d been an Yachna: “Hey Ma, why did He Die-Worse?” May be Apna took pity on me, hence came the suggestion.

However, I talked to Mukhda that Apna was looking for a job as a Cheater and Mukhda told me – if Apna was looking for a job as a Cheater, she could call up Mukhda any time, as references work in this profession. So I informed Apna and gave her Mukhda’s number. But Apna never called up Mukhda. May be that was asking her to “die.” Remember? She didn’t have time, even to die.

Any way, a couple of days later, I called up Apna again. She was travelling, so could not talk, and she’d be home in an hour. Instead, I call up after three hours. She says “Yellow” and when I say “Yellow” from this side, She disconnects. I call up again, thinking the network was down. No response. So I send her an Yes-Mess, that whenever she goes to Jay-Noo, can she find me one book. I get no response. So in the evening, I call up again. No response. I call up again, thinking the phone must be lying here and there. No response. Finally, I send her an Yes-Mess again that I want to discuss my Pee-Etch-Dee topic with her. No response.

Finally, at 11 PM at night, I get a Mrs Call from Apna. My heart skips a beat. I call Apna back. Apna is angry, and is roaring like a LOIN… for the continuous calls I’ve been making to her. My heart forgets to beat, and this time skips many a beats. But I still survive. Even I don’t have time to die. She informs that she is a girl. (I thought, she was a boy and I was a gay and I was madly in love with her, errrr… HIM.) And she is too BeeZee and can’t help me out. And that if she is not picking up my calls that means she is BeeZee. Well, I was tempted to give her my peace of mind. “We journalists are just pursuant.” She’s not a News, Apna informs me. (Well that was News to me actually. Even that she was a girl… was News. It had to be Breaking News, Flash News or what ever…) I wanted to tell her that 11 PM was no time to call then, if she was so concerned about scruples. But as per Apna, she would not have been able to sleep that night had she not talked to me. Wow! I feel so IMPOTENT. But what about my Sleep then? Did she care… Will I be able to sleep after that? She has an advise too… “Please don’t take it to your heart.” I wanted to give her my peace of mind. But then I remembered Hey Ma. And stayed quiet. Apna told me that I had Intel(inside), so I should under-stand-sit. Whatever… I told her, well having Intel(inside) was not relevant to the topic. She said she worded it wrong. Rather I was Main-Chor, I should understand. I apologised “Profusely” to the BeeZee girl, and felt like a Bheegi Billi. Main hoon Bheegi Billi… 9XM

Well, later, I called up Hey Ma and told her that I wanted to lose out my peace of mind to Apna, and just because of her I stayed quiet. Ma asked, then why didn’t I? I have my own ways of doing things… So here it is… Let me tell Apna through these columns… I’m more BeeZee than her. I drive 1 hour to office and 1 hour back. Reach home at 3 AM in the morning at times, not from the disc cos but from Office. Read Books till 4 AM. Then even take out time for HisOrHerVoice. Write articles for that. Update the Plugins, the Wordpress, the Scripts, Change the Home Page, Approve Comments, GO through Akismet Spam if some relevant Comment has not been trapped in it. Hmmm… there are othjer projects as well. Still get time for Social Work and still am able to help people who come to seek help. Gyaan baantne se badta hai. And still have time to act as Agony Aunt (or Uncle); and even get time to write this Trash on my Blog. At times, even write Poetry. Oh! Yes… I Chirkut also, and FaceDiary too and manage to get Linkedin. Answer mails – I love writing long mails. Now, I’m sure, I’d be able to squeeze out time for my Pee-Etch-Dee as well. But, yes, this all madness doesn’t allow me to go to the mountains to ease myself. So I use either the office/home wash-rooms, and at times, the Delhi Walls – away from the prying eyes of people, with a fear lurking at the back of my mind – Hope the MCD guys don’t catch me and challan me.

But I’ll manage it Apna… without your help… the project and my Pee-Etch-Dee. I have Intel(Inside). Well BeeZee Bee Apna, Best of Luck to you. And may you Bee always BeeZee.

I remember, Guru Nanak/Gobind Singhji’s story. Once passing through a village, the villagers just disrespect him and pay no attention to him and his followers. While leaving, Guruji blesses them “Base Raho”. In another village, the Guru and his followers are treated well and respected. While leaving, he curses, or was it a blessing? “Bikhar Jao.” The followers were amazed. They ask him the reason. The Guru says, “Well “Base raho, because they shouldn’t spread their pervert minds out; and remain restricted to this place.” And “Bikhar Jao so that they can spread their goodness and wisdom to the world.”

So BeeZee Bee, be BeeZee Always.